I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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