my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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