apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize