my being single is dangerous.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
