found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
