i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Randomize
