New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
