i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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