and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
