Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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