fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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