What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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