Whod you bang
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
