Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
