Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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