Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dude. I can hear the air.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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