question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
