He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
