I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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