I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
