I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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