May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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