he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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