i may or may not be watching the land before time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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