I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
no, he came in my armpit
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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