You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
