i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My liver is preforming stress tests.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
