they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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