Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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