White coat. Heels.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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