And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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