I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
