At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
