i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
