My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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