I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
