dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
