Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize