Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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