we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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