i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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