I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
