Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
