yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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