Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Randomize
