If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
