Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
