you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
