I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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