her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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