Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
