You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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