I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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