He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
vagina is talking i cant
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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