Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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