i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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