So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
