You work out of a Hotel?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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