Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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