Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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