This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
